I’ve always been fascinated with the shapes of trees. A tree’s shape tells a story about its unique relationship with its particular environment. I marvel at the myriad forms of adaptation, resilience, and tenacity: the flexibility of coconut palms that can withstand torrential downpours and hurricane force winds; the short, rugged trees whose roots cling to and twist out of cracks in exposed rock faces; and bright yellow dandelions, that will grow just about anywhere a seed happens to land. Trees and plants in all sorts of circumstances must find moisture and nourishment to grow around or through obstacles towards the light.
Like trees and plants, people also grow and develop in uniquely creative ways in response to their environments. As trees reach towards nutrients and light, so people reach towards connection. We seek to be known, understood, and recognized, which can happen only within the context of relationships. Our early relationships with our caregivers shape our ideas about ourselves and our expectations of the world. This template is an implicit, unspoken “knowledge” that is acted out until we can become aware of it and experience something different. Only then do we gain the clarity and freedom we need to make different choices.
We all live and develop within social relationships, within families of different configurations, within cultures, and countries, all of which are embedded in historical contexts. These multi-dimensional layers, which can stretch back for generations prior to our own births, bring their own gifts and challenges.
I have found that a relational approach to therapy is meaningful and effective, and works toward establishing a strong and collaborative partnership.
While I’m an empathic listener, I am also actively engaged. I offer my observations, insights, and intuitions, and share practical feedback. Many people appreciate my warm, open and direct style. Because my clients are always welcome to ask what I’m thinking or feeling, they never have to guess. For many, this transparency helps foster a sense of safety.